MATCH RATINGS

LXG's very own Danson tells it like it is in his post match verdict:

Postman Pat – delivered in spades, with any number of last ditch tackles. Even took an elbow to the head for the cause. The baker (he changed his job

 mid-paragraph) cooking himself up an excellent 7

Jama – a tour de force down the right flank, occasionally using his shades to

 good effect to dazzle the opposition winger off the floodlights. Had he worn a Michael Jackson style white glove, he could have gone up to .08 higher, but alas will have to settle for a paltry 7

Ciaran – calm, collected, from Cork,and called Ciaran. Played in goal, centre-back and even  midfield, his versatility earning him an impressive 7

Danny – imperious at the back, bringing back memories of Alan Kernaghan in his pomp. Modesty prevents him from going any higher than a B-. Or 7

Scotty – unlike his SS Enterprise namesake, there were no ‘Klingons on his starboard bow’. Nor was he ‘beamed up’, or start looking up Uhuru’s skirt when he should have been concentrating on the game. And thus comes in with a more than respectable 7

Mucker – the former egg bother and stick fighter showed he can actually play a bit of proper football too. People who say he has two left feet were proved spectacularly wrong (he only has one, unfortunately. His right one’s not worth a shite). Two goals and an all round man of the match display 7.1

Javi – more Xabi Alonso than Cesc Fabregas on this occasion. So as a non-Liverpool fan, I couldn’t give him more than a 7

Gary – like Custer, or something, turned up late then proceeded to boss the midfield in a manner befitting a whopping 7

Paul – despite struggling for 15 minutes with the concept that right is not, in fact, left, went on to have a powerhouse display, even bagging a goal into the bargain. All in all, a performance deserving of an impressive 7

Triffy - Although the gamble of playing on roller ska

tes backfired somewhat, he would nonetheless prove to be our most creative outlet - when he could stay on his feet. Has promised to wear traditional footwear next time, which would see his score go up by as much as .1. As it is, a thoroughly deserving 7.

Jim P – lots or running, even up against defenders he swore were Slovakian internationals on a work exchange at Supervalu Tramore. Probably would have scored were it not for the vagaries of the opposition’s off-side laws. Can only mean a 7